You got a min fam? Brady has plenty of time

Y.G.A.M.F : Week 1 NFL

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Welcome all to the first ever “You Got A Minute Fam.” Yes we have unofficially trademarked this troll phrase and are now in the process of marketing it. All the slander minus the Cory Stats….let’s get to it!

Week 1 is the worse time of the year for NFL fans. Nobody ever gets credit the first week, if you have a good performance “it was week 1 you know”, if you have a bad performance “it was week 1 you know”, if you picked Carolina in your Elimination Pool…eh, I guess you can’t really use that excuse there…just blame Goodell!

You know...after a while you get used to this face
When you picked Carolina over Denver week 1 and now the crew got jokes but you have no comeback

Best Individual Offensive Performances:

QB: Matthew Stafford, DET- 79.5% completion, 340 yards, 3 touchdowns and minus the greatest Decepticon of all time! (Week 1 excuse: “it was the colts defense”)

"This guy gets it!!"
“This guy gets it!!”

Honorable Mention: Drew Brees, NO- 66.7% completion, 423 yards, 4 touchdowns and one L….a common theme for the gunslinger (Week 1 excuse: “dahhhhhh George Bush doesn’t care about black people??”)

Thinking: " stupid mom never lets me have dessert first. I can't wait til i'm an adult!"
Thinking: ” stupid mom never lets me have dessert first. I can’t wait til i’m an adult!”

RB: Does the league really even use these anymore?

DeAngelo Williams, PIT- 26 rushes, 143 yards, 6 catches and 2 touch downs (Week 1 excuse: it was the Redskins)

"So glad I picked you up for fantasy these first four games!"   "Me too bro!"
“So glad I picked you up for fantasy these first four games!”
“Me too bro!”

WR: A.J Green, CIN- 12 catches, 180 yards, 1 touchdown, An island claimed, my God I didn’t realize his numbers were that good Sunday. No wonder everyone keeps trying to take Revis out back and put him down quietly. (week 1 excuse: none….he didn’t have to do Revis like that man)

Warning: Images of AJ Green v Revis are graphic
Warning: Images of AJ Green v Revis are graphic

Honorable Mention: Antonio Brown, PIT- 8 catches, 126 yards, 2 touchdowns, Breelands Soul, and permanent claim to the space behind the Redskins secondary (week 1 excuse: “it’s nothin to a boss”)

(Daily Double Sound) Alex:  Suspect behavior is often overlooked in this league in the name of Fandom Me: What is the NFL?
(Daily Double Sound)
Alex: Suspect behavior is often overlooked in this league in the name of Fandom
Me: What is the NFL?

Best Individual Defensive Performances:

DL: Leonard Williams, NYJ- 2.5 sacks and 5 QB hits, 3 tackles and 3 assisted geez slow down big fella, you gonna hurt someone big fella (week 1 excuse: look at him he’s huge…you go block him)

Treating Andy like a red headed step....never mind
Treating Andy like a red headed step….never mind

LB: Kwon Alexander, TB- 17 tackles, 15 solo and 1 sack the motor was running full throttle sunday for Kwon (week 1 excuse: dude, nobody cares about the Buccaneers)

Kwon was using a fully automatic sunday with 17 tackles
Kwon was using a fully automatic sunday with 17 tackles

DB: Baushaud Breeland, WAS- 7 catches, 110 yards, 2 touchdowns receiving and 1 rushing touchdown, helped power a potent Pittsburgh offense through the air and on the ground (week 1 excuse: none, I hope you don’t expect him to hang his head)

Breeland showing off the strong hands on this TD catch
Breeland showing off the strong hands on this TD catch

Thank You Wallace ( the three hottest takes segment and in no particular order)

1) Alex Smith is a good quarterback

"Hey 49ers hows that hot hand working out for ya?"
“Hey 49ers hows that hot hand working out for ya?”

G**da****……why in the name of tebow do we have to go over this every single year every 2-3 weeks. We get it. Alex can win football games yaay!! He’s the guy in the control room and the chiefs are the scud missles bombing the opposition. Yes, the chiefs came back sunday down by almost two scores, yes he ran in the game winning TD, yes every other QB gets credit for stuff like that but NO he did not lead the chiefs to victory. An act of God saved Peters and the chiefs defense from death by bludgeoning when Keenan Allen went down from a non contact injury. And people say there is no God or He doesn’t have a sense of humor!

2) The NFL doesn’t care about Black QBs

Never fear GQ Cam is  here! Combating all our racial tension one interview at a time.....
Never fear GQ Cam is here! Combating all our racial tension one interview at a time…..

The BQBM movement was in full force after the Thursday night loss to the Broncos because Cam Newton took quite a few shots to the head througout the game not resulting in penalties. Fine’s are coming and the league has reiterated that it is thoroughly invested in the Concussion research and development in concussion prevention and CTE. Couldn’t you tell after they put him back in the game and ran him a lot after the fifth blow to the head. The guy crashed his car and it rolled over and everything he got up, ran through the tunnel and led his team to victory.

3) NFC east reactions (minus philly of course)

Come on NFC East lighten up like these two.....
Come on NFC East lighten up like these two…..

Redskins suck, Cowboys suck, Giants are division champs!!! Seriously does anybody in that division have patience besides the Giants? I feel like people finally realized Eli is special (ed) and they are nice to him to make up for all times they wished him dead.

***Honorable Mention for Hot Takes: Week 1 power rankings***

umm.. Cody O_O
umm.. Cody O_O

No Slander Just Facts on Jeff Fisher:

In conclusion I just want to remind everyone in America, Jeff Fisher sucks at his job, Jeff Fisher is still employed at his job, when his job gave him an extension Jeff Fisher had recently benched the #1 draft pick and loss by 28 to a division foe and arguably the weakest link not named the Rams. Jeff sucks, don’t be like Jeff Fisher!

The real american dream....getting paid for nothing
The real american dream….getting paid for nothing

****Don’t forget to check out all the content on the http://www.iconoclasticallybombastic.com/ website, Cody Stewart has put a lot of time into his articles so at least take the time to look at them and tell him how much you disagree.ygamfintro

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